Parody: Manchester United buy Nicklas Bendtner for €200 million!

Niclas Bendtner

Manchester United just made the biggest signing in the history of football! United bought Nicklas Bendtner, aka the greatest striker that ever lived, for €200 million!

The shocking news arrived in the midst of Pogba’s imminent arrival from Juventus, for €120 million! It looks like Paul Pogba is not going to be the football’s most expensive football player, with Nicklas Bendtner stealing the title!

Most of the United fans were completely shocked by the big Dane’s arrival, firstly because of the high value, and secondly because Bendtner wasn’t even contracted by any of the clubs!

We asked Ed Woodward, the mastermind behind this transfer, about why he made this transfer. He had this to say: “Well, we are in the middle of Paul Pogba’s transfer negotiations, and the thing is dragging for so long. I had enough of the waiting and decided to splash some cash!”

Woodward than continued “I wanted to spend a big chunk of money on someone special, and Nicklas Bendtner certainly is the special someone. I mean why do you think he got a nickname: The Greatest Football Player That Ever Lived?!?”

We also questioned Ed Woodward about spending so much money on someone who wasn’t even contracted by another club. His response was: “Because he is worth it!”

United fans were a bit shocked about this transfer, but soon backed the club. “If Manchester United decides to buy a player for €200 million, no matter who he is, he is worth it!” exclaimed an ecstatic United fan and continued “Look, Bendtner had a rough couple of years, but he is one of the best strikers ever. He scored 29 goals for Denmark! TWENTY NINE!!! Not even Ronaldo or Messi can score 29 goals for Denmark!”

“I expect this kind of transfer long time ago” said Nicklas Bendtner. “When I was at Arsenal, no one rated me, but myself. It’s true that I didn’t score a lot of goals, but you don’t have to score a lot of goals to be the best striker. All you need is high self-confidence!”

We also asked Bendtner about feeling the pressure of the most expensive player, and he replied bluntly: “Pressure, what pressure? I am the best and I should be the most expensive football player!”

It looks like Manchester United is going to be a winner of this transfer window, while spending close to half a billion on five new players.

We will see how Manchester United season is going to unravel, but there are big question marks over a team, in which everyone thinks he is special!